We got to Rose Lawn, Wisconsin around 12, which was actually 11 because we had crossed a time zone we all went to bed now knowing that in two days we would be on the Jerry Springer show, and possibly even meet him. The next morning there was a bit of confusion at the entrance to the naturist camp. It was hot so we all sat and waited for the crew to argue with the security guards who were total cocks on a power trip. Eventually they let us in but wouldn’t let us film with the main camera. So it was down to us to get the dirty footage for the day, a challenge we all rose to, Zoom Zoom Zoom. It wasn’t so much a porn festival but a crowd watching some of the sexiest professional pole dancers and strippers compete in various competition categories to be the best in their field. We didn’t talk much that day or get to know people. When every girl in the place competing and spectating got their tits out, and the rest, when you held up a camera, there wasn’t time to chat. Towards the end of the day there was an amateur competition in a place called the pit in the forest. We were told that it fills up early so the lads got in there a good hour before the start to guarantee front row seats. It was worth it as well random girls from the crowd got up to enter, egged on by the spectators until a wet T-shirt competition became a take of all your clothes and writhe in the water sprayed by the purvey security guard. From then on each competition became the same and the day began to come to an end. The girls spoke to some weird dudes on the way out then we headed back to the bus. This time, destination Chicago and the Springer show.
Again we travelled through the night and arrived at around 6:00, had a quick look at the beach but as I didn’t get much sleep last night and we weren’t in an exciting location, in fact we were miles away from the touristy area although there were a lot of hotels. I decided to go back to bed for a while and get up at 9:00. Had a look at the beach again now there were people around and it seemed to be a bit of a family beach. It had been arranged that we would meet up with a record and skate shop owner. There we would find out a little bit about the local scene and what we were doing that evening. Unfortunately the night before the local police had broken up the three day rave Global 2000 that we had planned to go too, so we arranged to meet up with Pete the owner and he would make sure we saw what goes on, or if the rave had unofficially been moved then he’d take us to it. It was still early so we went to the tourist part of Myrtle beach, had a quick look around the gimmick shops where in one souvenir shop we found death stars and throwing knives, I don’t know what goes on in this town but I hope everyone didn’t carry those around with them. Sarah had arranged tickets to the local theme park so after a quick Mac Donalds we like big kids went to ride roller coasters and relive our youth, not that we’re old. On the way back we decided to make a beer stop and get some supplies for a barbeque, we set the barby up in the car park got the drinks out and the party started with Pete and his crew turning up soon after on his motorbike and a car load. There was Pete and the guy that worked in the store, his two gay friends from New York and Greg, a true red neck he had the accent and everything. We carried on drinking and got to know the guys who would be like, our guides for the night. W e got the possibilities from Pete for the night and decided to go to a place called club Millennium. Pete took Sheryl on the bike while the rest jumped on the bus and we were dropped at the club in style. In the club there were two rooms, one sort of hardcore house and the other more popular music, dance stuff that makes the charts and R & B. In the second room Greg managed to pick up two girls to join our merry band of clubbers, and I have to say one of them was hot. We next to moved onto a gay bar cause some of the guys wanted to pickup someone but we decided to stay on the bus for that one as me and Joel got harassed enough just directing Bill reversing the bus in the car park. So we went onto a place called Masters, the place Global 2000 (the rave) had been moved to since the raid last night. It was basically a Golf club that had been converted into a club for the evening, three rooms playing three styles and people everywhere, spilling out onto the golf course, break dancing, dancing to hard house and I don’t know whether it was security guards or cops walking around but who ever they were they had fun chucking Paul and Phil out when they realised they were filming and hadn’t been given permission. Everyone in the place was cool, we lost Sheryl very early on in the night, Joel had flaked early and Bex went to look after him so it was just me Chantal, Boppa, Greg and the two girls from the other club, which I got on really well with, although so did Boppa and Greg, but I got her number at the end of the night so I was happy. We partied till 5:00 in the morning. Bill drove us back to the car park after that, where the other guy’s cars were parked and they drove the girls back to their hotel, as they had to check out by 7:00am.
I didn’t get up till 2:00 the next day as expected and no one was in the mood to do anything big so we went to play crazy golf, which turned out to be quite a laugh. I don’t know who won but it obviously wasn’t me or I would have remembered. There was no plans to do any filming for the evening as we were in Myrtle beach for a while so we took the opportunity to go out with Paul and Rory, we weren’t near any decent bar so we wondered down the road until we found a reasonably swanky hotel and used there bar. Sheryl had a phone call from Pete and we managed to get rid of her pretty early again, “bonus”. After a few drinks it didn’t take much before we were feeling pissed again after last night. But we all had a good lengthy chat and it was a good bonding night to get to know the crew a little better. And we got to go to bed at a reasonable hour.
Today was a bit slow, spending most the day waiting for Sheryl to get back and no one was really getting of there arses and organising anything to do apart from the girls who had started on the art project and had gone of taking photos of people on the beach. So I got my windsurf kit out and although it wasn’t the best conditions took it to the beach, everyone else sat and chilled out and I went for a surf “mustn’t grumble”. Sheryl got back and met us on the beach, and it was time to do something as a group so we all went to an all you can eat Chinese Buffet restaurant called “China Buffet”. At the end of the meal we met up with Pete again and moved onto a bowling alley. For a drink and a game of ten pin. This time we managed to talk bill into coming with us which probably wasn’t a good idea cause he fully kicked my ass, he came first and I came second. We went back to Petes place for a quick smoke and to play playstation for a while, then after Chantal and Boppa had a little tiff with the director Phil about buying a little bag of weed we went back to the bus. Again quite late but I was getting used to not having any sleep.
Tuesday was the crew’s day off, but Paul and Rory had always wanted to go shooting so they invited us to join them at a proper firing range. Unfortunately they wouldn’t let us have more than a 2.2 as we had to show I.D. and we weren’t 21 but they were still powerful and we were only shooting the shit out of paper targets so we weren’t fussed. That night Chantal met a guy at the local store and he invited her to an 80’s night at a local club so the girls, last minute decided to go there. But we took the opportunity, as there was plenty of drink on the bus to have our first lad’s night in without the girls. Myrtle beach had been different, we hadn’t crammed as much into a short space of time, which at times allowed us to get bored, and do things like break into the local tennis courts and play foot tennis with a basketball I had won on a fairground stand. But it had been good not rushing from one place to another and let us relax a bit. We planned to leave for Atlanta first thing in the morning where the trip would begin to lose its grasp on normality.
Before you read on, here is a Youtube promo produced by Mike Christie. Watch this to get a vague idea about what I am writing about.
Like most, I’d always said, “when I’m older I fancy being famous” but I never really believed it would even come close to ever happening. As I grow up, I realised that life has many traps. You gladly leave college with some qualifications behind you truly believe that the world is your oyster but slowly you get drawn into the system. I was determined not to have a conventional job and get stuck in the city I was born, so after saving for a few months after A-levels, I decided to train to become a watersports instructor, a profession I’d often thought about many times after going on school trips as a child. That would be my ticket to see the world and get an experience of life. I must say it was a good decision; I probably had the best time of my life, living away from home, doing what I’m into. And making some of the best mates I’ll ever have. It was like being at school again only no rubbish lessons and not as many girls, but women, which made things more interesting. oh and out on the piss every night. Plus, here’s the biggy! spending six weeks living in Barbados, windsurfing everyday and again, plenty of the other at night.
I was living, seeing the world and loving it. But as they say, all good things come to an end. After six months of living it fairly easy, I found myself back in Leicester and back to the job I had left at the beginning of that year. At this point I think I had a chance to stop and think… I had done what I’d set out to do, the qualifications I now had could get me a job pretty much anywhere in the world. But wait there, I now have a three and a half grand career development loan, two thousand pound credit card bills and I owed my Nanna one thousand eight hundred cos I was going to sell my motorbike to pay for my course fee’s but good old Nan knew how much I loved it and offered me the money as long as I paid her back when I did finally sell it. But I digress, the point is I now can’t go anywhere in the world cos I’ve got too many bills to pay. Realising that my cunning plan to avoid getting tied down had gone tits up, I went back to stacking shelves, the job that when I was doing it part time after college I didn’t mind cos it was paying for me to go out and that was pretty much all I cared about at the time. Only now I am doing it because I have to, because I need to, to pay back what I’d borrowed, a different concept all together. I couldn’t grumble though at this point, I still had my bike, some spendo and had just had the best six months of my life, or had I?
Before I lose everyone’s total interest, that’s the only moaning I’m going to do (the bills) and I’ve got it out of my system now. It’s only relevant cos it made me think about life. I wasn’t going to fall into that trap again. But now things must come for free. I know I have always been the fluky bastard that gets out of most situations, but that was at school or college, you know the type of thing, getting out of detentions, reading GCSE notes the night before the exam but still managing to pass, being threatened to be thrown out of the sixth form but painting a lovely mural on the common room wall so the head of sixth form praises me for a few weeks. This though was on a bigger scale though I was in the big wide world and people are a little harder to manipulate than your peers and teachers.
So this is what I came up with. In between having fun at the supermarket, I was obviously watching a lot of TV, as you do during the winter and outdoor activity doesn’t look inviting. I started to make a few mental notes of all the things I liked on TV. Stuff that other’s my age would be interested in to. Then I incorporated the fact that I want nothing more than to travel, and become worldly wise. It began to take shape on its own, I was coming up with a travel show / documentary with a bit of docu-soap, though this was before Big Brother. I was getting my inspiration from shipwrecked. It was all easier than I thought, inventing a revolutionary TV show that was basically what I wanted to do, using tele as a means of doing it. Who then would honestly listen to a nineteen-year-old watersports instructor that thinks he’s got a good idea. I went down to my life long friend’s house to offer my scam. Usually we come up with idea’s laugh about them then never pay them a second thought, but surprisingly this idea began putting further thoughts into Joel and his girlfriend Rebecca’s head. We spent the next two weeks putting together a proposal, knowing nothing about whether there was a proper way of doing it or if there were certain people we should contact. But our content and writing style kicked ass. But sod it, it was passing the time and giving us something to do. Still not sure whether it was worth our while sending it to anyone, Rebecca went on the net found five addresses and sent it. Last we would hear of it we thought.
