When we got back to the bus that evening it was straight up to Niagra Falls through the night. We arrived around 1:00 and ate in the hotel restaurant. It was the crews day of so once everyone was organised which took a long time we all went to go and see the falls still doing a little bit of filming, I don’t think they could help themselves. We met the river quite early on where it was quite violent and followed it around to where you can see it all go over, then walked out onto like a big half bridge so you look back and get a better view We decided as a group that it would be cool to go over to Canada so we carried on to the bridge that crosses over on the American side there is a passport control to get back into the states but just a swing gate to get onto the bridge, so as we all had our passports we went through and it took about five minutes to cross the bridge to get to the Canadian passport control, there we found that we would be alright getting into Canada but to get back into the states we needed a piece of paper that we were given at the airport, which obviously none of us had. So theoretically we were stuck between countries on a bridge. The women at the Canadian side made a phone call to the American side and told him we hadn’t yet entered the country and she was sending us back. By which time the cameras were back on us again as the crew thought it was hilarious that we were stuck on a bridge. After a short confrontation with the drill sergeant in passport control on the American side we were back in the country and those that could be bothered went to get the bit off paper we needed and went to spend the rest of the day in Canada. It was very different again it was all very touristic. Loads of gift shops little cafes and bars, it was a like a little holiday town with plenty of energy coming from the falls. We walked around doing the tourist thing, messing about and going in all the little gift shops to see if we could find some Canadian souvenirs. The best thing about visiting Canada was we had found somewhere that it was legal for us to drink again without being considered minors, or ID needed. We had a few drinks in a bar then wondered around the streets until we found a nice seafood restaurant and ate there. Time was getting on and it was getting dark so we made our way back round to the bridge, not before taking a long look at the falls from the Canadian side whilst they were all lit up. We had no trouble getting back across and I got a Canadian stamp in my passport so I was happy with the day.
It was again quite a boring trip, travelling during the day so you don’t want to sleep but it’s hard to occupy your mind. We usually end up singing along to the guitars or arguing about which music we want on. We got there at 5:00 but we had to stay just outside Manhatten in a days inn car park just the other side of the Lincoln Tunnel cos the bus was only allowed into the city between certain hours of the day it would be too much hassle. We got reasonably dressed up, as we would be spending the night on a paddle boat around New York with some of the high flyer’s. The boat was due to leave at 7:00 so there wasn’t much time; everyone was bundled into taxis and rushed to the dock. We made it in time and realised it wasn’t just some friendly trip around the island but it had three bars on board. Two floors of the finest techno and house music. And an upper deck to chill out on and look at the sites of New York. It was a free bar before 8;00 so naturally we set up camp and took full advantage before moving on to the top deck to see us set sail, do a bit of mingling and, call me a tourist but there’s some sites that you just have to see from the water. The Vodca was going down nicely and we were all up dancing, Sheryl taking it a little bit to far, I think she thought she was auditioning for a part in the movie “Striptease” or something. Fair play though, she was getting the boys attention; I just thought it was plain dirty though. It became obvious that perhaps we’d had too much to drink when we went upstairs and Boppa began talking to a Dj from the Bronx. Now, Boppa talks shit at the best of times but if there’s one thing he does know it’s his music. The conversation started of OK, Two music lovers discussing what they were into. The guy was heavily into his techno and when Boppa said he was into drum and base it didn’t go down to well, neither did Boppa rapping at him. Anyway, we avoided boppa getting thrown of the boat, mainly because I was holding him on the boat, but it all kicked off again when we tried to leave at the end of the night, and “I don’t want to talk to you, cos you smell like my poo” defiantly didn’t help. Nice one Bop. We avoided it all again and started to make our way to the after party, party at a local club only to have the guy run down the street and punch bop in the back of the head as we were walking away, then it defiantly kicked off Phil turned and swung at him with the camera tripod and took a direct hit. This time A girl we had met on the boat who new these people calmed it all down and Boppa and I got in a taxi with her to go to the next club. We thought it was finally over but as we got to a set of traffic lights, a car screeched up next to us and we were told we were going to die tonight and followed us to the club, the girl got out to go and talk to them again and we went over to a donut shop next to the club, fortunately in there was a policeman eating dohnuts. Nice one. The decision was made though, once we told the crew that they had threatened to kill us and although it was all funny at the time we were very drunk and probably didn’t realise how serious it could have been, especially as we were in New York. So not only did we get to see the major sights but have a good night out and experience some of the people of New York and almost got shot, quite an evening.
It had been a long night so we didn’t wake up until midday again. Then we headed straight onto the island, the girls went shopping for cheap clothes and I took the opportunity to find a tattoo parlour and get my tattoo done as we didn’t have time and we would be away from the sea for such a long time it would give it a chance to set in. There were plenty of places all in the same part of town so we had a look to see which looked the most professional the went in to negotiate a price. Joel who already had plenty of tattoos was making it out to be really painful but he’s been scared of needles most his life. I expected to be biting on a stool or something but the only time it really hurt was when the needle went over the bone of the spine, then I got quite a twinge. It took a couple of hours but I was well pleased with the finished result although wearing sticky tape and clingfilm on my back was quite annoying. We had to rush back to the bus to get changed. For the first time tonight the group would split up, Joel Bex and Boppa would go to a club called “ceeby jeebys” they would find one room to be a goth night and the other five Punk band auditions, and that’s about as much as I can tell you about there night. Us on the other hand. We would meet up with some of the people and models from Elite model New York. I was I bit nervous. We would be going to high-class bars and although the guys were a similar age group, what would I have to talk to models about? We arrived at the Tribeca Grand, a very swish place run by the same people who run the Soho Grand in London, apparently. They even had some one in the rest room helping you wash your hands, something I’d never seen before. We met Roman and Sheri who were organising the night and all their friends and sat down and ordered some drinks. With out a doubt this was the best group of people we had met on the trip so far. They were all interested in our trip and how it came about and interested in what we did. There lives weren’t exactly dull either so we had plenty to talk about. It seemed that their number one priority was to make sure that we had a good night. We left in taxis on the way to “Joe’s Pub” one of the hardest places to get into in New York, but with these guys we just skipped the long que and walked straight in, the atmosphere in the place was fucking amazing. Once inside it was quite packed but that was soon sorted when the promoter cleared a table right in front of the stage and we all sat down on the sofas. At this point the champagne arrived and the drinks just kept on coming. The acts on stage were amazing and everyone we were with was up for a right old laugh. A couple of the guys had said to me that one of the girls, Tarin was interested in me, but she was so perfect and I didn’t fancy making a fool out of myself with someone who is way out of my league. The night was easily the best so far, we were getting on with everyone really well and we decided to move onto the final club of the night. I left the pub with Tarin and we were getting on but I wasn’t going to make a move and spoil it all. We got in the taxi for the Luhan Club, owned by Steven Boldwin. We stopped of at a shop next to the club and got some chocolate then went down into the club, which was underneath a restaurant. It was quite small inside but quite cosy. The crew relaxed with the filming and joined in with the drinking. Everywhere in the club had sofas again, so it was a great place to finish the night. I had lost out with Tarin, as she was talking to some other guy for the rest of the night which was annoying cos apparently she told Chantal that she was interested. I found a comfy spot with everyone on the sofa and we stayed until about 5;00 in the morning and I was under the impression that we were meeting up with them again tomorrow.
When everyone else got up I really couldn’t be bothered so they went into New York to shop and I slept some more then stayed on the bus while we drove around Manhatten shooting General Views, then bill dropped us of and me and Richard went to meet the others in time square from there me boppa and Joel jumped in a taxi and went to go up in a helicopter and see Manhattan from the air, Joel had already done this before so after we met the crew just me and bop went up, we could only take the little cameras so while boppa filmed us I filmed the shots out the window. It was boppas and mine first time in a helicopter and it was the best location to do it in trust me. As soon as the ten minutes were up we left to go see Ronnie Sys in central park. The strange thing was as we got out the taxi at the park literally five metres away stood Petes friends that we had met in Myrtle Beach. You don’t get many coincidences much freakier than that. The guys from last night said they may be coming to watch the show so I kept my eye out for them and we went in. It was a real good atmosphere, we were right down the front in the VIP area just to the right of the stage. It seemed there was no plan to meet up with the guys from last night as Richard told us we had to be at a club called spa on the other side of town. I didn’t like the club much, I thought it was very trying to be cool but not quite achieving it, with music plucked from my 1997 CD collection. It wasn’t as bad as I am making out I suppose it was a cool looking place and the people in there seemed pretty cool. I was just pissed of caus they cleared a booth for us gave us a fake bottle of champagne then after half an hour cleared us out the booth and I didn’t think that was very classy at all. Everyone else felt the same and we got bored pretty quick. So after a walk around the club we left quite early and bumped into some of the guys from the night before in the queue on the way out.
We began the longest section of the trip so far and headed for Woodstock travelling through the night. The bus stopped around ten in the morning and we all got off to eat in a little silver stylish diner. The surrounding landscape had changed overnight, it had now become hilly and it looked a little more like woodland. I had a chicken burger to start of the day and then we sat outside and waited for the crew to finish doing what they needed to do then a quick stop at Walmart for some supplies and back on the bus on our way to a campsite for the evening. We arrived mid afternoon. There was a river nearby so we spent the afternoon paddling in little two man open canoes and we got to travel to the launch site in a bus just like the school bus on the Simpson’s which for me was more of a highlight than going paddling. Back at the site the owners had pitched some tents for us but we had no intention of sleeping in them as we would be travelling through the night again, but it looked good on camera. We had one on one interviews for the rest of the evening and took it in turn to do the barbeque. Once everyone had finished we met around the barbeque, got the guitars out and had a good sing along. Even though we didn’t actually camp it was a cosy experience all sitting around the campfire in the woods with other family groups around us but it had to end at 3:00am to get to Woodstock in time.
I slept most of the journey wondering what Woodstock would be like, obviously in the past it has been one of the most famous events in the world and we were all expecting to re live the Woodstock that everyone talks about. We got there around 4:00pm and made our way to the site, it was on a long straight road with fields either side as we got closer there were more and more tents and people and noticeably a lot more mud. We started to get kitted up for what we now expected. Joel being the genius he is gaffa-taped shopping bags to his feet. I put my old trousers on but although I only had one pair of shoes was not putting bags on my feet for anyone. Bill dropped us off near the entrance to the field. I was expecting it all to be the best festival I had ever been to with a huge atmosphere. Instead I got thousands of stoned hippies in a field that looked like it had been freshly ploughed with a barn in the middle that they were calling main stage. I felt a little conned but hey I’m at Woodstock and not many people can say they’ve been there, mind you if they saw it not many people would want to go there. It was a good laugh though, in the sense that there was a lot to laugh at. In between dodging the deep sections of mud we got talking to a few nutters and listened to a lovely tie die enrobed women with a banjo singing to the heavens how great god is and how the flowers make her feel really happy, which was lovely. And the bloke dancing in front of the stage well he looked like there was a force was trying to trip him up but he was having none of it, he would stay on his feet no matter what. Back at “main stage” Joel and Boppa was talking to the organisers about getting up and playing a few songs. Unfortunately not until tomorrow though which meant we would have to come back in the morning. We left sort of late afternoon, everyone was cold and wet and we had “Wild Wild West” on DVD back at the bus, which seemed to be calling our name. Although I am glad I experienced it, I probably wouldn’t be tempted to go back and as my trainers were covered in shit and I needed to walk around Manhatten tomorrow, When Joel and Boppa went to play there to songs I didn’t bother. I do feel a bit guilty though if I had have gone I would have doubled the amount of spectators at centre stage.
We left Woodstock around midday after the boys had fulfilled their life long dream and played in the barn at the shit-ridden field to an audience of one at Woodstock. We picked them up from the entrance where the annoying teenager had been waving on cars shouting go on, keep going for the past two days now. I don’t know whether he thought the drivers would forget to keep driving down the straight road if he wasn’t there but they seemed to be doing ok.
Hit the road around 11:00 the next day. We were travelling though the day so when I wasn’t looking out the window to see where we were and how the landscape quickly changed I tried to exercise in the isle of the bus and obviously got some quality sleeping time in. As soon as we arrived in Atlanta it was dark, so wasn’t worth exploring the place so we jumped straight into taxis and went straight to a club called Karma, which is owned by an English guy that would meet us later. How can I describe it, it was sort of a break beat / hip-hop / drum and base club, a place the stars apparently liked to hang out at and not be hassled by the fans. It was sort of underground, down some stairs and a regular sort of bar with a few added extras like the odd monster sized bed here and there to relax on with a DJ room and a dance floor where the punters were going wild. Some of us went down to the dance floor, but it took others a while to get used to being in a mostly black club. Apparently Christina Aguilera, Lenny Cravits and Michael Jackson were some of the names that had been to the club. Just as we were finding it a little hard to believe though Busta Rymes walked in as we were talking to the manager Pablo at the bar so we took the guys word for it. We remained cool and didn’t want to seen to be the only ones in there asking for his autograph and acted like he was just a regular guy, but Chantal couldn’t help herself she had to go and say hi and shake his hand. After lining the shots up on the bar for us Pablo gave us a sort of interview although it was hard, there wasn’t much space for us all to get in and hear what he was saying over the music. Basically he was a richboy from London who decided to go out to the states and set up a stylish bar, like you do. His club was cool though and we stayed till around 5:00 before going back to the bus via a 24hr BP garage for munchies and a pint of milk.
We were up around 12:00 the next day to begin our day as women. Before the trip Richard said if he could sort it out would we enter a transvestite beauty pageant and at the time we agreed. Although he didn’t manage to get us in the competition because the competitors were quite serious and it might seem like we were taking the piss a bit, he told us that all the audience would be dressed as women and if we didn’t we would be the odd ones out. So our day would be spent visiting a clothes / costume shop picking out women’s clothes and matching shoes. A tranny called fristy would show us around and pick out the lamest clothes I had ever seen so we ignored her and went with my intuition and picked out something completely different. It was actually turning into quite a funny day; we had got used to everyone laughing at us and now were making the best of a bad situation. Once we had an outfit it was onto to a make up and wig shop where we met our chaperone for the night in his male form. He gave us the lowdown on the event and scared us with some tranny facts, but we got the wigs or hair pieces as he liked to say and some make up tips here we also met two girls one of which was Pablo from the night before’s x girlfriend and I must ad she had possibly the nicest pair I have ever seen. Then went back to the bus where the girls had the most fun they’d had since playing with Barbies. They took it in turns painting our nails and putting all kinds of stuff on our faces until they were happy we would pass for ladies, well transvestites anyway. I put on my little black mini skirt on, tucked my balls into a tight pair of boxers and pull on my fishnets and to finish, a matching boob tube and a classy wig. You may be surprised but I made quite a lady if i do say so myself, me and Boppa got some whistles as we stepped of the bus. But wait… then there was Joel, imagine a poorly dressed Mrs Doubtfire that can’t walk in heals and that’s Joel. Our limo arrived driven by some weird looking bloke and out stepped the guy from the wig shop, completely different and I don’t even want to imagine how he achieved the look, it was scary. We got to the hotel where the event was being held and it was on one of the top floors so we had to walk from the limo past all the regular people to get there, but by now it was alright! we had gone way past the realms of embarrassment into the realms of who now gives a shit. We got in around 8:00 and surprisingly it had all already started, so we went to our VIP table where we had a good view of the stage and also the audience, and we realised that it was more a gay thing and we were definately in the minority being the ones dressed up. What the hell we had plenty of wine on the table and it wasn’t long before I’d forgotten what I looked like. Well at least till I went to the rest room. About half way though Boppa and I were set the task of going and talking to some trannies and gays and the like to educate ourselves and get it all on the Sony cameras. We got talking to a few groups of people getting them to tell us stuff to the camera. Then I spied, I think the only straight women there that evening, so while talking to her she noticed I had a pierced nipple and without asking had a look. I saw my opportunity and told her how rude she had been, tonight I was a women and that kind of thing is just not acceptable which resulted in her getting her tits out for all too see. Good work Glenn. They all came back to our table and Robin, the girl took quite a shine to me, I’m not sure why though I was dressed as a women so I spent the after show party getting to know her. I have no idea what the others got up to. It wasn’t too late and one of the guys we had met earlier invited us all back to his flat so we went there. I was still with Robin and the guy who was going to give her a lift home was walking us back to the bus so she came on board and we took advantage of the back room although we were soon to leave Atlanta so didn’t get any nookie although it was fun and she looked good naked.
I had high expectations of arriving in Daytona Beach, I had seen plenty of programmes on tele of spring breaks in Daytona and it is quite a famous place so I was hoping for a party. We arrived in the middle of the night everyone else was asleep but I heard the bus stop so I got up to see where we were. Sarah and some of the crew were rushing around, we were either lost or there was trouble finding where the bus was allowed to park. I had planned to go for a swim as soon as we arrived in every new place but a lady at the hotel had said it probably wasn’t the best idea while it was still dark as there was a heavy rip running. After stretching my legs I went back to my bunk to wait until we arrived at where we would stop. It was still dark when we got to the hotel car park and we all agreed it would be a good idea to watch the sun rise over the sea at Daytona Beach, trouble is we were all still sleepy so in the pitch black we raided the freezing cold hotels outdoor pool then jumped the fence onto the beach with a bundle of blankets and sat huddled waiting to see the dawn on a misty Daytona beach. Its hard to explain the feeling of this trip, you are excited but at the same time relaxed caus there’s the crew sorting everything, making it all run smoothly so you have no worries, all you have concentrate on is having a good time and then we do stuff like watching the sun rise on a beach with your mates, it looks like a postcard and your are kinda blown away. Everyone needed a little more sleep as you don’t get much on a moving bus and the crew had gone to bed as they had been up all night so it wasn’t worth doing anything crazy or outrageous without getting it on tape, so never mind we all went back to bed. I couldn’t sleep much though, we were in a new place and there was stuff to see and do, so I got up and went to a local hotel to grab a map and leaflets on what we could do that day then went back to wake the others up, they were a bit slow so as it was a beach orientated place Chantal and I went to look at the shop’s to see if we could find some decent clothes, while the others got there asses into action. The plan was to have my tattoo early in the morning and then in the afternoon have a go at something exciting like parasailing. After walking the whole length of the beach road going in every shop and keeping it healthy with a burger and a milkshake for breakfast at Maccy D’s it was obvious that the crew would not be joining us and that meant I would not be getting my tattoo today. I was quoted $240 as well which might have contributed to Richard saying “no”. The crew joined us in the afternoon and as you were allowed cars on the beach, which was quite annoying when you’re trying to chill out. We hired a car anyway and drove up the beach with intention of turning around and driving to the other end of the beach… real cool like! and going parasailing, although none of us had a driving license Joel cruised the beach and we messed around while the cameras filmed from another car. As we were coming to the end of the beach we looked around, the sky went from being clear to there being a big fuckoff thunder cloud, right where they were parasailing, it was quickly decided that none of us fancied hanging from our pants in a big electrical strom cloud strapped to a wet parachute and being towed by a lightening conductor. So that was off! We left Daytona earlier than planned. We had had a few disappointments but it had been a good day and we had been to Daytona Beach, which was good enough, and lets face it I’m on a trip across the USA for seven weeks! mustn’t grumble!
When we got back to the bus that evening it was straight up to Niagra Falls through the night. We arrived around 1:00 and ate in the hotel restaurant. It was the crews day of so once everyone was organised which took a long time we all went to go and see the falls still doing a little bit of filming, I don’t think they could help themselves. We met the river quite early on where it was quite violent and followed it around to where you can see it all go over, then walked out onto like a big half bridge so you look back and get a better view We decided as a group that it would be cool to go over to Canada so we carried on to the bridge that crosses over on the American side there is a passport control to get back into the states but just a swing gate to get onto the bridge, so as we all had our passports we went through and it took about five minutes to cross the bridge to get to the Canadian passport control, there we found that we would be alright getting into Canada but to get back into the states we needed a piece of paper that we were given at the airport, which obviously none of us had. So theoretically we were stuck between countries on a bridge. The women at the Canadian side made a phone call to the American side and told him we hadn’t yet entered the country and she was sending us back. By which time the cameras were back on us again as the crew thought it was hilarious that we were stuck on a bridge. After a short confrontation with the drill sergeant in passport control on the American side we were back in the country and those that could be bothered went to get the bit off paper we needed and went to spend the rest of the day in Canada. It was very different again it was all very touristic. Loads of gift shops little cafes and bars, it was a like a little holiday town with plenty of energy coming from the falls. We walked around doing the tourist thing, messing about and going in all the little gift shops to see if we could find some Canadian souvenirs. The best thing about visiting Canada was we had found somewhere that it was legal for us to drink again without being considered minors, or ID needed. We had a few drinks in a bar then wondered around the streets until we found a nice seafood restaurant and ate there. Time was getting on and it was getting dark so we made our way back round to the bridge, not before taking a long look at the falls from the Canadian side whilst they were all lit up. We had no trouble getting back across and I got a Canadian stamp in my passport so I was happy with the day.
