Travel | Glenn Ward

Around the World in 80 Raves – Chapter Twenty – San Diego

In San Diego after 7 ready to party with the frat boys from San Diego state university for our first night we would cross the border for a taste of Tijuana. We had been told that these guys were considered to be the biggest party animals in the states but after meeting them it was obvious that there lives revolved around drinking partying and getting laid as much as possible. After meeting everyone in the sigma pi household we ventured down the street to the sorority household. 40 girls lived in this house and they were all getting ready to go out for Friday night and weren’t keen to be caught on camera without there make up, but plenty came down stairs to meet us and we found out that several would be accompanying us to Tj. After leaving a puddle of drool on the floor we let them get ready and waited back at the house. A few girls and a few guys jumped on the bus and everyone else traveled in convoy to the Mexico border. Getting into Mexico was not a problem, just a matter of walking through a couple of turnstiles and arriving in a taxi rank on the other side. We chatted along the way and got to know the girls and guys (more importantly the girls!!) After a little organising everyone got into taxis and on the way to the strip were all the clubs were found. It was ten pound to get in and all the drink was free, you just had to tip the barmen, which meant they served as quickly as possible. We soon managed to get hammered and soon began to experience how they all live. Immediately I noticed how laid back they all were and if you wanted to dance or mess around with a girl you or she just did it, I don’t think they had even heard the popular English tradition of prick teasing the girls were on the pull just as much as we were if not more. This made the whole night more relaxed with everyone in the belief that a good night out entailed drinking, dancing and pulling. A girl called Hilary had caught my eye earlier back at the house and after missing out on a dance when I had asked her earlier because I had my hands full of drinks. After a bit of everyone dancing with everyone, I met up with her again, this time with my hands free. We both made it clear we were interested, though nothing happened. I think she had a guy she had issues with in the club so was a bit reluctant. We all carried on dancing some more and I ended up with a girl from another sorority. This one was a little more forward and we ended up having a cheeky kiss. At about one, we decided to head back to San Diego. On the way back I managed to get back with Hilary after she had finished chatting to the other lad. This was not very well thought out on my part as the two girls I had been with had a bit of a slagging session. We got back to the house and the party continued. Numbers fell fast. We stayed and drank though and got to know some of the guys that don’t seem to sleep then went back to get some sleep ourselves.

The next day everyone was keen to get back and party some more so we ate and headed back to the house where we started drinking straight away and a convoy of trucks took us to the tail gate party. A massive party, that took place in a car park at the local football stadium. Everyone would turn up two hours early with a lame intent to actually go and watch the match. They would just get pissed and party in the car park as the game went on. I began with a few beers, which I don’t usually drink so it was a good start to getting pissed. After a Two can beer bong I spent the next few hours drinking 1.5 litres of mudslide. The girls arrived just before the match, Joel, Boppa, Chantal and Bex went into see an American football game and I arranged to meet Hilary later but tried not to sound to keen. We waited for the guys then headed back to the house with the intention of going on to another house party but it ended up being a bigger night at that house so we stayed there and drank until around 5am. Managed to talk to Hilary a few times but made no progress after she passed out in the back room after plenty of shots. So Boppa and I had a big smoke on the bong.

The next day we convoyed again down to the beach for a beach barbeque and a swim in the sea. It had been a long time since we had been at the coast. We had one on one interviews to the camera, which took a long time then we headed back to the guys house where they were having a fraternity meeting. After the meeting we were called in and made honorary Frat boys of Sigma Pi. Feeling quite privileged to be invited into what is said to be the coolest Fraternity in the States. The cameras were turned of and a little ceremony took place and we were taught the secret handshake. Before leaving we thought it would be rude not to go say goodbye and thank the girls so we shot down there said our goodbyes to everyone and got on the bus again. San Diego was another place we were all quite sad to leave as we got on so well with everyone we met.

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Around the World in 80 Raves – Chapter Nineteen – Las Vegas

We were quite separated for the rest of the trip. With Sheryl in the back room biting Chantal’s ear off about the way things were between us all. And later decided to stop the bus and shake up things with the announcement that she no longer wanted to be on the trip of a life time and was going to go home at the next airport. I really didn’t take her seriously and for that reason didn’t have much to say. I saw a good opportunity to shoot paint balls. Though while I had been asleep Joel and Boppa had drank a cool box of beer and had plenty to say. They were all saying she should stay for the good of the program and Chantal had totally changed her tune towards us in the last week, calling us for being nasty and taking the piss whereas one week ago she was contributing to. This bothered me slightly as I got on well with Chantal and thought she was being a bit two faced even if she had made friends with Sheryl. But if we admitted it I don’t think anyone could put with the smell anymore, I know she hadn’t washed in at least two weeks. The conclusion of the discussion / argument was that she would stay for Vegas. Big surprise as we were staying in a five star hotel then she would see how she felt. I could see straight through her devious ways. We only had two weeks to go was it really worth a big hoo haa about. We all got on the bus again and on to Vegas. For four days at the Mandalay Bay.

As you can imagine making notes in a dairy every few days was really beginning to bore me so, Joel writes the next section. Enjoy!

We arrived in Vegas at about two we were boarded by Steven D Wright like a walrus in the night. The Mandalay Bay Hotel was an impressive sight, the tallest hotel in the city and all in gold. After the checking in palaver we went to our rooms, two in each, Glenn shared with Boppa, Joel n Bex and the toxic twins together, the rooms were pretty standard but were like a god send after five weeks on the wind, our hell hole bus. We, the boys were starving so a mission was staged to find some food; the restaurants were either closed or required a second mortgage to purchase some bread. We opted for the ever-reliable Mac Donald’s but it let us down for the first time in the trip, it was closed. So we found a Texaco 24 hour and bought stuff to make sandwiches. We returned to our rooms to enjoy a shower and shit.

Next day was spent by the pool, or beach as it was covered in sand with a wave machine and as far as we could tell there must have been a sign at the entrance saying “NO UGLY PEOPLE ALLOWED” but unfortunately for us the small print must have read “ALL LADIES TO BE ACCOMPANIED BY BURLY MEN”. Anyway tans were topped up and hearts were stopped by the price of food and drink. We took a cab to Caesars Palace to find some skate shoes, which was harder than finding a bored heterosexual at Ponder Rosa. Night fell and we were called a limo, which was the worst insult I had ever heard, anyway the destination was supposed to be the MOBO Nominations party, oh dear, empty club, three reporters and no celebrities equaled a ten minute stay.

Next day we were treated to a private bungalow, the PR guy for the hotel used to work under Steven (ow!) on some TV shows like “the word” so not only were the rooms free we got the VIP treatment, did fuck all apart from lounge by the pool and frolic in the waves, That evening we met Billy, the owners son who was a twenty seven year old billionaire who owned the club we went to that night. We also paid a visit to the Spearmint Rhino, a strip club where Glenn and Boppa were treated to a lap dance each by some very enhanced and teasy strippers.

The next day (Thursday) was gun day. The girls went to get their nails done and us boys went “shootin” an AK47, an M16, a Sten, a Bren, a Magnum 44 helped us blow the shit out of various bad guys including watermelons. That night was pretty quite as tomorrow we were up at 8 for San Diego.

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Around the World in 80 Raves – Chapter Eighteen – Lake mead and Black rock city aka Burning man festival

We arrived at Lake Mead the next day, we ate breakfast with the intention of meeting up with an instructor who would take us wake boarding for the day, so obviously I was quite stoked about this day my first opportunity to get back in the water after being inland for such a long time. Unfortunately the guy Mitch couldn’t provide prove of any qualifications, so after hours of ringing back and forth to London and Phil having a chat with me about whether we would let it would happen in the UK if someone could potentially be unqualified. Finally coming to the decision that this activity would not be covered under the insurance so we would give it a miss. In the mean time though Bop Mitch and I were taking it out on the scooters. 180’s soon became 360’s and the pace we were attempting these tricks picked up until my ankle collapsed underneath me on a landing. Fortunately this was covered by the insurance and Sarah began making plans to get me to a hospital. In the mean time I was stuck on the bus with my foot in an icebox. We got to know Mitch quite well that day and he expressed his interest in the burning man so as this was our next stop we invited him along. He packed in his job for the rest of the season a decided to go straight home after the festival. As we set off, Bills teddies soon went everywhere when he realised there was an extra person on the bus and again this wasn’t covered by the insurance. It was a long hall over to the Nevada desert. We drove for 16 hours and arrived at a place 2 hrs away from the burn in Black Rock City.

We spent most of the day in Wal Mart stocking up for the next few days in the desert. It had already been decided what we were buying as the girls had made their paranoia list. I don’t think we’ll fit back on the bus though with the fifty litres of water we bought and sleeping bags, tents, food, sun cream even sunglasses for everyone. I think the missed the fact that we had a huge air-conditioned bus to live on. But we weren’t bothered it gave us a good chance to look at guns and golf clubs and boys stuff which didn’t go down to well as the girls were storming around buying the so called essentials. I had a good excuse though, everyone had got bored of piggy backing me around so I had blagged a granny cart to go round the supermarket so I couldn’t keep up. The next morning I woke to find my ankle wasn’t in pain in pain but now half of my foot had now turned purple so we collectively decided we should go to the hospital. After Joel and Bop had had their fun pushing me around the hospital in a wheel chair and I had filled in my insurance details I saw a doctor, had an ex-ray and was told it could be a fracture or could even be broken so to the doctors amusement as I told him I did it on a kiddies scooter he put a splint on half my leg and gave me a set of crutches. I would only be on them for them for the next five days at least I’d only gone and spoilt my hole burning man experience…on a scooter. We arrived at burning man around 8 o’clock. On the way in we were boarded by dressed up people who made everyone get off place their hands on the bus, drop their trousers and have stickers slapped on their arses. Pretty pointless I know that’s why I told them I wasn’t allowed to move with my poorly leg and everything. We found our pitch and although we were all tired after seeing a glimpse of what was going on we had to go explore. It was a strange situation, everyone would just come up and start talking to you like you’d known them for years and I was getting the sympathy vote with my leg in cast. I could see that my broken ankle might not be so bad after all. We started our bartering skills and managed to get everyone a drink. We didn’t know what it was but it had alcohol in it so we didn’t care much. We walked a little further then turned in, we had plenty of time to explore the three-mile wide camp over the next few days. The next day the girls went out and the boys decided to do the manly thing and set up the tents back at the camp then we got straight into our stash of vodka and headed out to see the beaver eating competition we had heard about earlier that day. I don’t think I need to explain what the competition entailed. As we wouldn’t leave the beaver eating competition straight away Phil sent Richard in to fetch us cos they weren’t allowed to film in the event and they were all getting quite pissed off. Well Phil started to kick off and wound me up almost to the point of hitting him. To cut along story short everyone walked off in our separate ways and there would be no filming for the rest of the night, as there wasn’t one person not affected by the tension. I walked around with Bex and freakishly bumped into Paul and Rory, had a song with a random girl and then later Boppa and Mitch so we went to the centre camp where there was a large tent or marquee that had sofas and coffee, so we chilled out for the evening and listened to the music whilst looking at bare boobies. I was still finding it difficult to walk with those crap American crutches that dig into your armpits and cut off the blood running to the arms. So I didn’t go very far during the day, the lads went off though; I think they felt sorry for me so without me knowing went on a mission to find me some wheels. They returned with a wheel chair, shopping trolley hybrid. Not speedy but defiantly better than attempting to walk everywhere. Phil had come on the bus and apologised for the night before but it was obvious with the way he tried to make a joke about it that he was only doing it cos they had decided that it would be the best way to dance for them. We started the evening the same as the night before so we could use the footage and wore the same clothes as well. Tonight we would trek to the other side of the Playa to see Paul Oakenfold so we were all pretty fired up about that and the mood was lifted. When we finally got over there it was cold, wet and Oakenfold didn’t fancy coming out to speak to us. But still we had a little jig and messed around there for a bit and made the hour long walk back to our side of the camp. The desert had turned into a swamp and it was hard to push but Phil seemed to volunteer quite quickly, which was surprising after the night previous. Maybe he felt a little guilty. I had it made everyone else was pissed and couldn’t be arsed to walk back in the rain and I just lay back in my shopping trolley and enjoyed the ride.

It was the art project day, the girls pissed off early to do the poster body painting thing while we made out we had stuff to do and we would catch up with them later…as if…there was really no reason to actually do it. We were in. the organisers would hardly come and find us wondering why we weren’t doing arty stuff. We did have a little think about doing something art, we got our wood out we had nicked from Oklahoma but the best thing we could think of was getting random’s, blind folding them and getting them to walk our plank. Mind you with all the drugs flying around I think we proved more popular than what the girls were up to. “The Plank” from Oklahoma. We rocked a few people’s world that morning. After two people had walked the plank complete with commentary we figured we had filled our quota of art and decided to go for a walk to find the place was buzzing, most people were naked which was good either that or painted, which was good. After we got bored of looking at peoples inventions that they must have spent all year creating and climbing up the massive man on hundreds of hay bales that was to be burnt that night, we thought we better show our faces in centre camp and see how the body painting was going on, and it seemed to going well so we left to get shit faced in time for the burning of the man. The rest arrived shortly and we headed over to the centre of the Playa and experienced the biggest bonfire I have ever seen, we slowly walked back and managed to lose Rebecca, although with the use of technology realised that she was wearing a radio mic, after taking it in turns listening to the noise where she was and matching it with what we could hear we walked straight to her and found her blubbering away. She soon revealed what she had earned painting some women. Chocolates with essence of mushrooms. She shared them around and they soon began to take effect. I spent the rest of the evening not really caring what the crew were up to, in a sort of happy stoned mood, laughing at anything and everything. Especially the extent which they had affected Bex. We all seemed to be drawn to lights and music and everyone else soon got tired and flaked on us so Mitch and I decided to do a lap of the inner circle of the camp while the mushrooms wore off. Neither of us wanted to go to bed thinking we may have missed something that night. We walked until around 4:30 and went to bed around 5:00.

We were leaving today so after being woken up by all the moaning about how messy the bus was I got up around 10:00 and spent an hour pulling all the acrylic paint out of my hair, after that I took down the tent and cleared up outside while the girls continued to clean the inside of the bus. We said our goodbyes to Mitch for the sake of the cameras then he walked around the block and came back help us pack up. But we had got the filming out of the way. We made our way to Fallon where Bills brother lives to spend the night. Watched a video and slept ready for the day journey to Vegas tomorrow. We got up pretty early. After a quick shower and a Mac Donald’s and Bill drove us to Wal Mart where me and Boppa bought our paintball guns and let me tell you, plenty of accessories for just $160, a bargain you’ll agree. We made a quick stop for Joel and Boppa to clean the bus to earn a few extra pennies of Bill. I had an argument with Sheryl, I couldn’t tell you what about though, I really wasn’t listening. Then, on the road.

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Around the World in 80 Raves – Chapter Seventeen – Albuquerque

Again traveling ended during the night! Now when they told us what we would be doing at this stop I didn’t really understand what their train of thought was, although it all sounded pretty cool, I didn’t get where meeting up with a Native American Indian would fit into a show entitled “Around the world in 80 Raves” But let me tell you the next few days were up there with my best experiences on the whole trip. We met our new Indian friend, guide and host Greg in Albuquerque, where we got off the bus and traveled in Greg’s van out into the reservations. Bill would follow in the bus. It was a 4-hour trip but seemed to pass fairly quickly.

Greg was a good talker and seemed to have an understanding of everything. We listened to him tell us about his history, the history of the land, his belief system and how his relatives used to live for hours, surprisingly he held our attention the whole journey. With a stop at an Indian casino for fuel and drinks we got an insight into how they make much of their revenue in the modern day. Then onto visit our first Navaho reservation where we met Greg’s nephews, his sister in law and their cousin. There we helped them rebuild an arbor, a sunshade constructed of logs and a roof of branches and leaves, here they would hold family gatherings and escape from the sun. Once done, we couldn’t resist the scenery was the kind you see in postcards or in the movies. We just had to race to the top of the large red rocks that rose up behind the houses. Strangely though Bill and the young natives beat us to the top. I think they may have done it before. Next considering the settings we thought it would be a good idea to go horse riding which was one of the best group decisions we had made yet. So at a local ranch about thirty miles away, After playing with the horses and choosing which one each of us wanted we saddled up and headed out into the country. Firstly down some hard dirt roads then of onto the tracks where we had to duck under trees manoeuvre around rocks and try really hard to get our horses to overtake each other as we got more and more competitive. All the time, with Paul the cameraman running alongside with a handheld, trying to film us. Everyone’s mouth dropped as we came through a clearing in the trees and to our right a 500ft canyon emerged. It was like nothing any of us had seen before and it took us by surprise, one minute we were trotting through the tree’s chatting away then suddenly there was silence, silence through sheer amazement. We dismounted and took in the sight for a good twenty minutes. We rode back in twilight, as the horses new they were on the way back they were a bit keener to do as they were told which made the ride a lot easier. After Chantal and I had managed to get slightly ahead of everyone else we were confident the horses knew where they were going so decided to race back to the ranch. I am glad we did although the horses stepped up into a gear that I didn’t know existed. There was no skill involved, just a case of hang on for your life and try as hard as possible to stop my bollocks twatting the saddle. It wasn’t until I looked across at Chantal’s horse and realized how fast I was going then I couldn’t get the smile of my face, or the fear. We returned to the ranch in the dark and put the now sweaty horses back in the stables, thanked the girl that was our guide for the trip and made our way to Greg’s sister in law, Rose’s house. The fire was lit for a barbeque but as soon as the nephews brought out the guns we decided to do a little hunting to work up an appetite. There had been a storm the night before and the mud tracks had become swamps, but what the hell! We loaded the guns and took to sliding the jeep sideways through puddles that were more like lakes. As we drove out into a clearing rabbits were startled in front of the headlights. Joel and jumped out of the car but unfortunately weren’t quick enough. They all ran into the long grass. Back in the jeep we returned to the road and soon got well and truly stuck in a bog. The mood we were all in though I don’t think anyone considered it a problem, more a challenge. After plenty of preparation stuffing grass and branches under the wheels and the arrival of Richard and Peeka in the hired jeep, had heard us back at the house we pulled our way out and thought it best to go back for something to eat. We sat around the fire and Greg talked for most of the evening with Phil the director constantly inquiring about the hallucinogenic that they took at certain rituals. As I looked around the group you could see the effect Greg was having on everyone, the crew were interested as much as we were. Well, they were either in deep thought about what was being said or just really tired. Didn’t sleep until 3:30am, we were going to sleep in a traditional Indian hut thing but it was cold and Bill had been good enough to drive the bus out there and I didn’t want to hurt Bills feelings so I slept on the bus.

Got up around 8:30 to share breakfast with Greg and Rose. Greg made another fire and everyone pitched in to make brunch happen. Rose made bread doe that we fried over the coals to make sort of a fried bread style taco and the other half grilled to make a pitta style bread. We sat around the fire and enjoyed the breads filled with beans, lettuce, cheese and onions depending on what you ate. As we sat down again around the fire there was a lot to take in an I appreciated one of the freshest breakfasts I have ever woken up to. I felt sort of privileged to be there sharing their home and the view. It was a perfect place to forget everything and think about nothing although Greg had a way of making you think constantly. Greg started talking again, today more politically about living on reservations and the fact that them claiming welfare is something that they were entitled to and deserved rather than thoughtlessly taking from the government. He explained how the situation works and he told us of the time he was called up and sent into Vietnam to fight and risk his life on behalf of the American people. We would finish our stay with the natives performing a talking circle, a ceremony where everyone is free to talk or not talk about anything on your mind when the sacred feather was passed to you. I went into the ceremony quite skeptical though once experienced would gladly do it again. We sat down on logs in a grassy area under a tree. Sage and sweet grass was lit in a shell and each of us were cleansed with the sage. As it was a private ceremony the cameras filmed from a distance and we wore radio mics. The feather was first passed to me sitting on Greg’s left. As I was first I basically expressed my appreciation and thanks for being let in to share a small part of their life and for teaching us and opening our minds to a different way of life. I passed the feather on and as we all got more comfortable each person began to open up a little more but pretty much following in suit with the topic. Sheryl decided she had nothing to say and Chantal really let it all out about friends, family relationships and her feelings about the travelling we were doing together. After Greg had finished blessing us with the sacred feather, purifying us and giving a fresh beginning we all sat in silence. Our time with Greg had really made us think about the basics of life more than we had ever done before. Still in thought we said our goodbyes, exchanged gifts, took photos and laid tracks to the road about midday.

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Around the World in 80 Raves – Chapter Sixteen – Oklahoma

Arrived in Oklahoma during the night. Let me quickly explain something, to get in to the burning man festival we had to prove that we were bringing something to the festival in the form of art so Bex had decided that we would blow up pictures of people that we had met on the trip so far and at Burning Man get people involved in adding colour to the black and white life sized prints. A bit crap I thought for something that’s supposed to be one of the maddest festivals on the planet, but sod it, if that’s what we need to do to get in, lets do it! I defiantly couldn’t be bothered to have an argument about it and to be honest I couldn’t think of anything else any better. We didn’t exactly have Rolf’s cartoon club on the bus. Anyway Richard and Sarah had obviously managed to find a twenty-four hour photocopying shop, as you do. Taken Box’s photos to be copied. The rest of us got up a bit later and as we got of the bus was amazed by the change in temperature in the space of about 18 hours we had arrived in a place where it was impossible to spend more than twenty minutes in the direct sun. There was no doubt, we had reached the desert and there was only one place to hide…..Mac Donalds. Then into taxis and off to pick up the photo’s from Kinko’s. Apparently these 24-hour places are really common, they are like an office for the public. There was an hour to spend on the internet, apparently to research the burning man festival but I figured the researchers had already done that so while a few of the others got stuck in I checked my emails and got in touch with some people back home. It was probably best cos some of them thought we would die out in the desert after some of the things they read. I tried to assure them they were being a little paranoid but apparently we would take precautions. Cool. We were back on the road again by about 4 or 5 ish. Again we watched DVD’s, played eye spy, and watched the landscape change from dry arid type dessert to the type of desert you see in all the old cowboy movies. And then slept again.

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Around the World in 80 Raves – Chapter Fifthteen – Memphis

In Memphis we were woken by some crazy wanker who ran on the bus dressed as an Indian shouting at the top of his voice and dictating what he was doing down a mobile phone. Being closest to the closest bunk to the bus door I saw Richard let him on the bus and begin to film the guy, so I decided to pull across the curtain on the bus and ignore him, trying to sleep through it. Everyone else decided to do pretty much the same, as everyone was way to tired to be bothered with it all. Unfortunately for the poor lad Joel was in the back room taking a different approach. As the fake Indian was commentating on everything he did Joel waited till he tried to look through the keyhole to the back room then opened the door as hard as he could. It was hilarious, there was a massive bang as the doorknob hit the bloke in the head and he went flying down the bus. While still a bit dazed Joel comes storming down the bus even more pissed off cos the guy had nicked his 200 Marlboro lights. Joel, in a vest all angry… caused the guy to shit himself and run off the bus at which point Joel’s got his fags back and locked him off the bus. That put a stop to the local radio stations little prank who had somehow heard we were passing through and decided to make a radio slot out of waking us up as we arrived into town. It was going to be a good day, with Joel’s angry face and his perfect timing he had us all in stitches. When I managed to get up I noticed that one off the windows had smashed. Apparently he tried to wake us up by running round the outside of the bus banging on the side of the bus but none of even heard a thing. We found this hysterical but Bill was not pleased at all.

I got off the bus I realised that we were in the car park to the tourist centre of Gracelands (as in Elvis’s house) when everyone was ready we jumped on a little coach, which took you literally across the road to the house to begin our guided tour. The house was absolutely amazing and the talk gave a good understanding of who he really was and how he lived much or his life. You start the tour in his hallway where you get a tape player that talks you through the stuff in the house and told you when to go into the next room. Although it was quite interesting by about half way through my attention span was failing and I found a better game in fast forwarding the tape a little and overtaking people trying to guess where the audio was talking about. When the tour had finished we took the shuttle back across the road and took the bus to today’s hotel stop. After we met the owner of the tour buses and his wife we went in search of somewhere to eat. After popping in a few hundred gift shops for Bex’s shot glasses search we found a Mac Donald’s to chow down in. In Memphis the we found the heat was unreal, just on the walk back down the road we realised that none of us had any energy left, which was fortunate because the hotel had a pool and sun lounges that were just asking to be laid on for the rest of the day. So everyone even the crew spent the day chilling out contemplating the largest travelling section of the trip that lay ahead.

The next day we were on the road at about one, next main destination being the Nevada desert with a few minor stops on the way. Journeys during the day were getting fairly routine now and we would stay up and chat for a bit rather than sleep, after a while though most of us saw it as a good opportunity to get our heads down. I only really got up if there was a dramatic change in landscape or if I needed to let off some steam I would go sit up front with bill and have a heart to heart.

We arrived in Oklahoma during the night….

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Around the World in 80 Raves – Chapter Fourteen – Nashville

After another late night and the whole trip beginning to catch up with me (the lack of sleep and the fact that when you do get to sleep the bus is moving) we set of for Nashville. Here Joel, Bex and Boppa would record a track at a Nashville studio which hopefully may be used somewhere in the program, I think that was the plan. So they shot off early in the morning with the crew and the rest of us grabbed another hour’s sleep to try to get over our fatigue. Nashville needed to be explored so we went of in search of a traditional Nashville bar but we soon realised that they wouldn’t let us in any bar without ID. Not being able to drink we began to get pretty pissed off with the place and got an ice cream instead, I know, we were living on the edge.

We sat down by the river overlooking a baseball groundfor some down time and got even more pissed off with the place as the tramps wouldn’t leave us alone and felt the need to tell you some bullshit life story just to get some loose change. On the way back to the bus we thought it would be cool to go into some cowboy style shops and try to get a hat for Bill the driver. As they were really expensive being the real thing and I had used up all the money I had getting the rid of the tramps we changed our minds. We went to wait at the bus for the others to return and see how their day had been followed by a little scooter action around a square while we waited for the crew to catch up.

We next went to an open air festival (Nashville Style) although we had to experience it (under age style) and film from clever camera angles to make it look we were in the other side of the fence when really we couldn’t get in, thats reality Tv for you! Didn’t stay long for obvious reasons, jumped back in taxis and went to a bar, I say bar but it was more like a shed with booze in which was good cos we fancied our chances at getting in here. It turned out to be a really relaxing night for a change. The entire pub made us feel welcome; there was loads of free beer, a band on in one room, the lead being Dolly Partons cousin (apparently). I played darts and had a winning streak on the pool table so ended up playing all the locals. Interesting as we play by completely different rules, we seemed to compromise and it worked quite well.

It had been decided for us by the crew that we would go back to the landlady’s house for drinks after the bar shut but as Sheryl decided to dramatically puke and think of every excuse under the sun as to why it happened pther than the beer we had a good excuse not to go back to some random house. Again it would be another night of getting back to the bus dragging Bill out of his hotel and travel through the night…

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Around the World in 80 Raves – Chapter Thirteen – Chicago

We got to Chicago in the night again and went straight to the Day’s Inn hotel. Up early in the morning though to go meet Jerry Springer, we had a tight schedule and we needed to stick to it to get the most out of our trip to NBC. It was funny, we raced to the studios and Bill dropped us of outside and carried on driving as the traffic was bad and we were running late. The PR lady met us in the lobby, and we pretended to queue for a few seconds for the sake of the cameras only everyone in the queue thought that our cameras were the one that they are supposed to scream at and say there shitty little rhymes to which we found quite funny. Then they took us upstairs to the Springer floor and took us onto the set. We would be some of the first people on the new set of the new series.

We messed around on the stage took some photos and tried to find out what the show would be about the headed into the canteen for a well earned breakfast. While we were eating PR lady called us into Jerry’s office to shake his hand and ask him a few questions, I could tell he wanted to stay and chat but he is a busy man and his people dragged him away and we went back to the canteen for some more eggs and bacon where we got talking to the chef. He was fascinating, the guy loved his job and said he works 14 hour shifts 7 days a week cos he can’t get enough of cooking. We were called in when the show was about to start and strutted past all the punters who were now queuing upstairs to our centre stage seats and waited for everyone else to be seated. Then listened to the audience guys spiel about swearing control and taking an argumentative approach towards what you shout out cos this season was going to be different, unlike the other shows of its kind. We had spoken to Jerry in his office about Joel and Boppas musical talent and the fact that they had written a Jerry Springer song a couple of years ago in their band. To our surprise jerry came on and invited them to sing it on stage before the show to the audience, reluctantly Joel grabbed the guitar, Boppa totally stoked grabbed the microphone and they began. The song went like so:
The first verse went down reasonably, but they both looked at each as if to ask whether they should go for the second verse in front of an American audience, with a sly chuckle to each other they continued. They managed to squeeze the last few lines out of the song before the well known bouncer Steve and a few others rushed on, took the mic and ask them to go back top the audience.

The show began, firstly about some blokes dad who was cheating with the sons girlfriend, but when the son came out and told his dad he was happy for him and didn’t mind there wasn’t much of a story left. So they started a new one all about family members in the Klan. I thought I would struggle to be as enthusiastic about the show as you see on TV but I soon found myself uncontrollably jumping out of my seat, shouting abuse and getting quite wound up by what some of the wankers on stage had to say and how they treated this little kid that they brought out all dressed up a KKK robe and hat. At some points I was convinced it was staged but when the kid came out, there’s no way anyone could put on an act like that. He made the entire audience feel sorry for him. The show came to the usual end, you know, the final thought and crowd clapping and screaming almost to the point where they pass out. All the punters left and we waited for the crew and there was only one thing left that the girls for some reason really wanted to do, that was to meet Steve, While Chantal jumped on him we got talking to and left the studios talking to a group we had met sitting in the row of seats behind us.

We ask them to recommend a place for us to eat and they took us to a place in a shopping mall called the water tower. A place that pretty much had restaurants from all over the world. On the way in you get given a credit card type thing that swiped when you take food from whichever counter you decide to eat from then you pay as you leave the restaurant. While everyone else went all oriental I went for the double dessert option at the build your own pancake counter. It was the sickliest but most tasty desert I had ever eaten and I think well worth the three hours of feeling slightly sick afterwards.

After we had decided that we had all eaten far too much and we were in a mall, it would have been rude not to go on a shopping mish. Later that afternoon the bus dropped us off just out of town at a very popular place called the cotton club. An open mic place that was very serious about their music. There were people in the bogs warming up there voices people making sure they had the words down and everyone from our crowd and the guys that we met on Springer deciding what song they would sing. While everyone else had music on the brain I noticed the crew had started a tab at the bar and began my own private mission to get pissed. Bex’s song went well, Boppas rendition sounded good although he forgot the words and had to drunkenly repeat a few verses but I hardly noticed, I don’t think anyone else did to much then there was Sheryl. She chose a Whitney Houston number that a soprano choir boy squeezing his bollocks would have struggled to reach the high notes let alone a tone def drunk bird who was shivering with fear. Did I laugh? Yes along with the rest of the people in the bar.

We decided to head back to the bus, as we were all shattered and leave the crew to have a drink on their own. But as we got out of taxi’s we realised that the bus parked up after we had been dropped and our vague directions had brought us nowhere near the bus. I suppose if I wasn’t shitfaced I would have remembered they warn you not to wonder around unfamiliar cities in America on “Wish You Were here” but the girls moaning of possible muggings didn’t seem to bother us as we fell over walls and bounced of cars for two hours until we found the bus down some dark tree hidden road. They all exchanged emails and I can’t remember when they left or how they got home cos I passed as soon as I reached anything close to a lying down position.

Awoke at a beach type area surrounded by museums. The crew needed to do some shots of the bus driving through Chicago. I jumped straight off the bus as soon as we stopped in search of food, which I found in one of the museums. It was agreed that we would all buy those little light weight scooter things as we were beginning to park further and further out of town at each stop they would be handy to get to the shops when the bus isn’t moving. So we went back to the shopping mall we had been to the day before and Joel, Bop, Bex and I bought one. We dropped of some photos then headed out to a record shop called “gramophone records” to meet a female DJ called DJ Heather. This record apparently played a big part in the growth of house music in America And Heather defiantly seemed to know what she was talking about, she had a lot of interesting stuff to tell us and she played in global venues, Although it only seemed to interest me and Chantal. We interviewed her for a bit at the record shop. Then pre occupied with our new toys went into town to pick up the photographs and went to eat in her area of Chicago which was out of town and quite different to the pristine central area where the shops and malls were. We ate at a sandwich / salad bar then walked a little way down the street where we were expected at a local club. On the way bop and I began challenging each other to try tricks on the scooters which resulted in us on our assess a lot. We began getting pissed in the club and just as the place started to fill up and we were all getting in the mood the crew announced that they were tied and we had to leave for Nashville shortly. After Heather did a little presentation of CD’s and promotional gifts and said our goodbyes it was back to the bus and on the road again.

More 80 Raves

Train ticket tip – Sometimes its cheaper to buy a longer journey

The other week I was checking tickets. I would either have been in ForestHill or Redhill and I needed to get back to Chichester. These stations are both on southern routes so if I were to get on at Forest Hill I would be sure to pass Redhill. The cheapest ticket from Forest Hill (furthest away) is £5 on the 8:49, £7.50 and £10 on the previous 3 trains while the cheapest ticket from Redhill (closest station to Chichester) is £14.90, Id be on the same train but would pay more for a shorter journey, go figure!

I have opened up the comments on my blog to not need registration, if you find any similar journeys to this post them below and help others save a few quid…

Around the world in 80 Raves Bubble Gum Cards

When I was growing up I used to collect bubble gum cards, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cards, Dinosaur cards, garbage patch kids, the lot. During the filming for Around the World in 80 Raves we suggested we might use cards as a means of marketing the show, I always wanted to be on my own bubble gum card!